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Isn't it crazy how slayin' just
always makes you hungry and horny?
Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin'
at me or humpin' my leg, we're five-by-five, you know?
You guys are a hoot and a half.
If I'd had friends like you in high school, I... probably still would've dropped out. But I might've been sad about it, you
know?
Gee, if doing violence to vampires
upsets you, I think you're in the wrong line of work!
Come on, we'll find a couple studs,
we'll use 'em, and discard 'em. That's always fun.
Scott? There you are, honey! Hey,
good news. The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, (puts her hands on his chest)
but we gotta keep using the ointment.
You boinked the undead... what's
that like?
Ronnie, deadbeat. Steve, klepto.
Kenny, drummer. Eventually, I just had to face up to my destiny as a loser magnet.
I'm telling you, I don't need a
new watcher. No offense lady, but I just have this problem with authority figures. They end up kinda dead.
Excuse me Mary Poppins, but you
don't seem to be listening.
You're confused, Twinkie. Let me
clear you up. (gesturing) Vampire, Slayer. Dead vampire.
I'm on my side - and that's enough.
Slaying is what we're built for.
If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong.
Tell me if you don't get in a good
slaying, after a while you just start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give him a good uhhh.
When are you gonna get this B?
The life of a Slayer is very simple. Want. Take. Have.
I don't know what's down there,
but I want to find out. And if you don't come after me, I might die!
Finally decided to tie me up, huh?
I always knew you weren't a one Slayer guy.
Look, I'm not so good at apologies,
mostly because I think the world's out to screw me, so I'm generally more owed than owing.
Maybe it's one of those unhappy
childhood things? See, when I was kid, I used to beg my mom for a dog. Didn't matter what kind, I just wanted... you know,
something to love. A dog's all I wanted. Well, that and toys.
Before we get started, I just want
you to know if you're a screamer, feel free.
Don't worry, big guy. Just keeping
her warm for ya.
What are you gonna do B? Kill me... you become
me. You're not ready for that... yet.
You did it. You killed me. Still
won't help your boy though. You should have been there B. Quite a ride.
Buffy: Ummm, maybe
I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
Faith: I see him. If I'd have known they came *that*
young and cute, I would've requested a transfer
Faith: All men
are beasts, Buffy.
Buffy: Ok, I was hoping not to get that cynical until I was at least 40
Faith:
It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy from... Manimal down to Mr. I-Love-The-English-Patient has beast in him.
And I don't care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in it for the chase.
Giles: Uh, I wish
we had time to celebrate properly. However, we have two victims: Jeff Orkin and, uh, now Platt. Uh, maybe there's something
they had in common.
Faith: Missing internal organs.
Buffy: Synchronized
slaying.
Faith: New Olympic category.
Buffy:I like the
lights.
Faith: Yeah, tis the season. Whatever that means.
Faith: She got
me really wound up. A fight like that and no kill. I'm about ready to pop.
Xander: Really? Pop?
Faith:
You up for it?
Xander: Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just um... I've never been up with people
before.
Faith: Just relax. Take your pants off.
Xander: Those two concepts are antithetical.
Faith: Don't worry, I'll steer you around the curves
Buffy: Faith,
you don't get it. You killed a man.
Faith: No, you don't get it. I don't care.
Cop: Good, now
cuff 'em.
Faith: I like him. He's butch.
Faith: Nicely
diverted, B.
Buffy: Diverted? That was me fighting for my life, Miss Attention-Span.
Faith:
This isn't a Tupperware party, it's a little hard to plan.
Wesley: Ahh. This
is perhaps Faith.
Faith: New Watcher?
Buffy and Giles: New Watcher.
Faith:
Screw that.
Wesley: She's...
cheeky, isn't she?
Faith: First word, Jail. Second word, bait
Buffy: I know
what you're feeling because I'm feeling it too.
Faith: Do you? So fill me in, I'd like to hear this.
Buffy: Dirty. Like something sick creept inside you and you can't get it out. And you keep hoping that
it was some nightmare, but it wasn't. And we are gonna have to figure out...
Faith: Is there gonna be
an intermission in this?
Faith: Yeah, you
know exactly what I'm about because you have it in you too.
Buffy: No Faith, you're sick.
Faith:
I've seen it B, you've got the lust. And I'm not just talking about screwing vampires.
Buffy: Don't you
dare bring him into this.
Faith: It was good, wasn't it? The sex, the danger. I bet a part of you even
dug him when he went psycho.
Buffy: No.
Faith: See, you need me to rely on because
you're afraid you'll go over it, aren't you B? You can't handle watching me live it my own way, having a blast because it
tempts you. You know it could be you. There's my girl.
Faith: That thing
with Xander, I know what it looked like, but we were just playing.
Angel: And he forgot the safety word.
Is that it?
Faith: Safety words are for wusses.
Angel: Going down
this path will ruin you. You can't imagine the price for true evil.
Faith: Yeah? I hope evil takes Mastercard
Faith: You sent
your boy to kill me.
Mayor: That's right, I did.
Faith: He's dust.
Mayor:
I thought he might be, with what you standing here and all.
Faith: I guess that means that you have a
job opening.
Mayor: No slayer
of mine is going to live in a fleabag motel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liasions going on
there.
Faith: Yeah, plus all the screwing.
Buffy: Why Faith?
What's in it for you?
Faith: What isn't? You know, I come to Sunnydale, I'm the Slayer, I do my job kicking
ass better than anyone. What do I hear about everywhere I go, Buffy. So I slay, I behave, do the good little girl routine,
and who does everybody thank... Buffy.
Buffy: It's not my fault.
Faith: Everyone
always asks, "Why can't you be more like Buffy?" But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?
Angel:
I know I didn't.
Faith: You get the watcher. You get the mom. You get the little scooby gang. What do
I get, jack squat. This is supposed to be my town.
Demon: Tomorrow,
I get the books. Meet me here. Well, if the price is right, I give the books to you.
Buffy: Not really
looking to trade with a demon.
Demon: And if this were still a barter economy, there would be a problem.
I want cash princess. Five large for the whole set.
Faith: So you can buy, I'm guessing here, some skincare
products?
Mayor: What does
this demon look like?
Faith: Demonic.
Faith: You don't
trust me?
Angel: It's not that.
Faith: Hey, no problem. Join the club.
Angel:
Look Faith, I know what you're going through alright. I know how hard it can be. It's important that you have somebody who's
been there who understand what you're going through. Look, I wanna trust you.
Faith: Chump.
Vamp: You killed him.
Faith:
What are you, the narrator?
Mayor: What happened to the
courier, I was supposed to pay him?
Faith: I made him an offer he couldn't survive.
Mayor:
You are one heck of a girl, you know that? I mean, the initiative, the skill.
Faith: Go on, go on
Faith: Yeah, give
me the speech again please. Faith, we're still your friends, we can help you, it's not too late.
Willow:
It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know
some people think you've had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo-hoo. Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than
some people. I mean, you had friends like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a slayer and now you're nothing. You're just
a big selfish, worthless waste.
Faith: You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.
Willow:
And here I just thought you didn't have a come back.
Faith: You're beggin' for some deep pain.
Buffy: There's
a cure.
Faith: Damn. What is it?
Buffy: Your blood. As justice goes, it's not unpoetic,
don't you think?
Faith: Come to get me? You gonna feed me to Angel? You know you're not gonna take me
alive.
Buffy: Not a problem.
Faith: Well, look at you. All dressed up in big sister's
clothes.
Buffy: You told me I was just like you- that I was holding it in.
Faith:
Ready to cut loose?
Buffy: Try me.
Faith: Okay then. Give us a kiss
Mayor: Go home, take it easy. It's a big day tomorrow.
Faith: You gotta
give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead or maimed? I can settle for maimed.
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